Surprises

Here are some things I wasn’t expecting…when I was expecting:

The love is instant and incredible. Everyone says this, and really, it wasn’t a surprise. But the sheer magnitude of the love I feel for our Babers…I could never have imagined. I just want everything to be perfect – to do everything right – for our little girl.

The inventor of the Onesie is a cruel, cruel man. I feel so bad for our girl when it comes to changing her clothes. Every time she needs a new Onesie, it’s like she’s being born all over again. Given who her mother is, I expected my child to have a large head, but come on…the neck holes in Onesies are smaller than the head of a pin. Good thing she was born in the North Dakota winter so she has to wear a Onesie under her outfit until at least June.

Being the parent is tough. We are fortunate to be able to sleep well at night, and yesterday was the first day I made it through a whole day without a nap. What I didn’t expect was how difficult it is to make decisions. That’s never been one of my strong points, but it’s even worse now. It’s not that I can’t decide what sleeper Babers should wear – it’s the major life stuff. And we’re only ~3 weeks in. It is crazy to me that R and I are responsible for this child. She is God’s gift that has been entrusted to us.  Not just me. Not just R. Babers.

You swell up like a circus freak after the baby is born. The nurses at the hospital said, “Elevate your feet when you get home because the swelling will get worse.” Um, talk about a gross minimization! The day after we got home, I looked down and saw basketballs attached to my ankles. We’re talking round feet. We almost went to the midwives’ walk-in clinic because I was crying, convinced I had deep vein thrombosis and may not make it through the night…. Literally. Which brings me to my next point:

The post-delivery hormones are insane. Wow! Again, the nurses told me the first couple weeks I would be “a little weepy.” To be fair, I may be an exception to the rule, since I get “a little weepy” watching iPhone commercials. The first 9 days, it took nothing more than a gentle breeze to catapult me into hysterical tears. Good things, bad things, Tuesdays – anything was worth a good cry. Thankfully, with Ryan’s help I was (usually) able to recognize the ridiculousness of the situation and laugh at the same time.

Breastfeedin’ ain’t easy. I have never known anyone as they nursed a newborn. Because of that, I thought the breastfeeding was as simple as a 6-month-old makes it look: Make the food available, lift the baby up, and go about your business. Not so, my friends. As I’m sure I will learn more and more as the months and years go by, this one is a superchallenging yet rewarding experience. I scoffed at the prenatal class’ name “Developing the Art of Breastfeeding.” (Don’t you just do it?) But I hereby offer an apology to the hospital staff. You were right. It’s an art. We’re learning.

I have an instant and incredible new love for my husband. As mentioned in the first paragraph, I wasn’t surprised about loving Babers right away. I didn’t know, though, that I would see R…so differently, so soon! He is an amazing dad and wonderful help. I can’t imagine a better partner to walk through this with. Seeing R with our baby opened up another new world of love I haven’t known before.

So, so many blessings!